"These are the offices of Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency -- Dirk Gently, owner and proprietor, at your service. Thank you for asking; the term "holistic" refers to my belief in the fundamental interconnectedness of all things."
DIRK GENTLY - a holistic detective.
JANICE PEARCE - Dirk's secretary.
"REG", Professor Urban Chronotis - Regius Professor of Chronology, University of Cambridge.
RICHARD MACDUFF - A coder.
GORDON WAY - A (late) tech magnate.
SUSAN WAY - A musician, Gordon's sister.
MICHAEL WENTON-WEAKES - A (fired) magazine editor. Possessed.
SERGEANT GILKS - A plainclothes police detective.
PERKINS - A policeman.
ALBERT ROSS - Editor, Fathom Magazine.
SARAH ANDROYD - A little girl.
MARVIN ANDROYD - Her father.
WATKIN - A don.
WAITRESS, BRIDE, GROOM, WEDDING GUESTS, DONS, GHOSTS, ALIENS, etc.
Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency Script
After The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams went on to create Dirk Gently, a detective with a belief in the fundamental interconnectedness of all things, a unique relationship with the laws of probability, and a love of cats and pizza.