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Nuncrackers (Large Cast Edition)

The Nunsense Christmas Musical, NUNCRACKERS, is presented as the first TV special taped in the Cable Access Studio built by Reverend Mother in the convent basement. We’re certain this NUNSENSE Christmas Show will make you laugh, and maybe tug at your heartstrings. It’s the perfect way to insure that your holiday season is merry and bright!

  • Full Length Musical
  • Comedy, Christmas/Holiday

  • Time Period: Contemporary
  • Target Audience: Senior, Adult
  • Set Requirements: Unit Set/Multiple Settings

  • Performance Group:
  • Senior Theatre, Community Theatre
The Nunsense Christmas Musical, NUNCRACKERS, takes place in real time in the basement of Mount Saint Helen’s Convent. It is the first TV Special being taped in the Cable Access TV Studio built by Reverend Mother with part of the prize money won earlier by Sister Mary Paul (aka Amnesia). A live camera with two television monitors is used to create an actual TV Studio feeling for the audience.

The show is the annual Christmas program put on at Mount Saint Helen’s. Opening with the rousing Christmas Time Is Nunsense Time, we are introduced to the cast and are given a brief update of what’s been happening in the past with everyone. We soon discover that we are to be treated to an original ballet based on the “Nutcracker” featuring Sister Mary Leo as the Sugar Plum Fairy. Unfortunately before Sister Leo makes her grand entrance she is hit in the shin by one of the children’s batons. What to do? The show will have to proceed without the ballet until Reverend Mother can figure out how to salvage it.

As if there isn’t already enough to deal with, word comes that the gifts under the convent Christmas tree have been stolen. Reverend Mother goes to investigate, leaving Father Virgil to entertain the audience with a touching ballad he wrote for his sister (Sister Mary Leo) called The Christmas Box. He then introduces Sister Amnesia who sings her latest country hit, Santa Ain’t Comin’ to Our House. Reverend Mother tells tales of her years in the circus remembering one winter storm when they were trapped in a hotel with Sophie Tucker. This is followed by Reverend Mother’s song An Old Time Carnival Christmas. Meanwhile, the cook, Sister Julia, Child of God, who was supposed to appear, doesn’t show up and so Father Virgil is forced to impersonate her demonstrating some Christmas cooking including instructions on making a fruitcake…the gift that lasts a lifetime. However, there seems to be an abundance of rum in the recipe leaving Father Virgil quite soused. Reverend Mother thinks she has a solution to the ballet problem (not realizing that Father Virgil has come upon the same solution) and the ballet goes forward. It is then we realize both Father Virgil and Reverend Mother appear as Sugar Plum Fairies and the first act ends with the “dueling” Sugar Plum Fairies in a hilarious ballet spoof.

After visiting with the audience the cast takes their places as the “camera rolls” and Act Two begins with Three Hundred and Sixty-Four Days, a song about last minute shopping woes. This is followed by the “Living Nativity Scene” featuring the students and Sister Robert Anne singing a beautiful ballad, Jesus Was Born in Brooklyn as she recalls the time her father returned home on Christmas Eve. The popular carol, O Come All Ye Faithful is woven throughout the song. Behind the scenes the Sisters are trying to find out what happened to all the missing gifts. But on stage the program proceeds. Sister Mary Hubert and Reverend Mother sing a duet, In the Convent (It’s a Wonderful, Nun-derful Life). The Saint Andrews Sisters, of Hoboken present We Three Kings of Orient Are Us! This is followed by Mother Superior’s introduction of the “Catholic Home Shopping Service” in which she offers some very unusual items for Christmas. When Reverend Mother is summoned upstairs to talk to the police about the stolen presents, Sister Robert Anne sings her ‘big number’ All I Want for Christmas. There is a “sing-along” based on the titles of 25 popular Christmas carols that everyone knows. As the evening moves toward the finale we discover that the gifts in the convent weren’t stolen at all…Sister Mary Amnesia had given them to a poor family. Realizing how selfish they had been, Sister Hubert leads a hand-clapping, foot-stomping, gospel song entitled It’s Better to Give Than to Receive.

The show includes some traditional carols in the overture and as underscoring, plus some Christmas Carol spoofs including Here We Come-a-Waffle-ing and The Holly and the Ivory. Of course, the show is filled with the traditional “Nunsense-sense of humor” and one-liners that have made the three previous NUNSENSE shows so popular.

  • Casting: 2M, 9F
  • Casting Attributes: Parts for Senior Actors, Strong Role for Leading Woman (Star Vehicle), Room for Extras, Roles for Children
  • Casting Notes: In the "Large Cast" productions there are five major roles, two featured roles, and four smaller roles, plus eight featured students and a chorus which can be as large or small as desired. The chorus can be made up of adults and/or children - adults playing priests, brothers and nuns - children as Mount Saint Helen's students.
    Sister Julia, Child of God could be a nun played by a male actor impersonating Julia Childs.
  • Chorus Size: The Chorus can be of variable size and can be cast as Nuns, Priests, Brothers or Students according to the desires and needs of the individual venue.

  • REVEREND MOTHER MARY REGINA - Mother Superior
    SISTER MARY HUBERT - Mistress of Novices
    SISTER ROBERT ANNE - Streetwise nun from Brooklyn
    SISTER MARY PAUL - Amnesia. Nun who lost her memory
    SISTER MARY LEO - Novice who wants to be a ballerina
    FATHER VIRGIL - Sister Mary Leo's "real-life" brother, a Franciscan Father
    SISTER JULIA, CHILD OF GOD - Convent Cook
    SISTER MARY WILHELM - Convent Nurse
    BROTHER BRENDAN JOSEPH - A teacher at Mount St. Helen's School
    SISTER MARY LUKE - Also a teacher at Mount Saint Helen's
    SISTER MARY CELESTE - A novice
    FOUR GIRLS - Students at Mount Saint Helen's
    FOUR BOYS - Students at Mount Saint Helen's
  • Name Price
    Perusal Material Shipped immediately. This is optional. Order Now

    1 x Lib-Vocal Book

    $24.00
    Rehearsal Material Shipped a minimum of 3 months before the last performance. This must be hired as a condition of the License to produce this show.

    20 x Prompt / Vocal-Chorus Books (marked Large Cast)
    1 x Piano-Conductor's Score

    $250.00 +$75.00/pm
    Orchestral Material Shipped a minimum of 1 month before the last performance. This is optional.

    1 x Piano
    1 x Synthesizer
    1 x Violin
    1 x Percussion

    $100.00 +$75.00/pm