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No Sex Please: It's Christmas!

  • Michael Parker
  • Full Length Play, Comedy, Present Day, Contemporary
  • 4M, 3F
  • ISBN: 9780573652486

Its many twists and turns make Never Kiss a Naughty Nanny a classic farce, which is sure to bring a smile.

The Citizen, Clearwater

More information

Description

  • Full Length Play
  • Comedy
  • 120 minutes

  • Time Period: Present Day, Contemporary
  • Target Audience: Senior, Adult
  • Set Requirements: Interior Set, Opportunity for Spectacle
  • Cautions: No Special Cautions

  • Performance Group:
  • Large Stage, Dinner Theatre, Community Theatre, Professional Theatre, Shoestring Budget
It’s Christmas Eve, and Mr. Broadbent, a developer and builder,  has invited prospective buyers, Fred and Gladys McNicoll, to spend the holidays in “THE HOUSE OF THE FUTURE”, in the hopes that the “spirit of the season” will close the deal.  He has pulled out all the stops. The house is totally decorated for the holidays, he’s hired a personal chef, Sue Johnson, to prepare a gourmet dinner, and he has even bribed two members of his staff, Casey Cody and Ben Adams, to pose as a married couple, who are renting the house, so they can extol its virtues and explain how everything works.

HOWEVER…that’s the problem, nothing does. The self-cleaning bathroom, central trash disposal units, automatic closets, hidden telephones and his masterpiece, “The Personal Ion Chamber,” all have some serious glitches.  But Broadbent has all the bases covered. He’s even hired his maintenance man, Eddie Cott, to be on hand behind the scenes, to make running repairs as necessary.

It should be a “Miracle on 34th Street” fairy tale, but this is a Parker farce. Gladys hears Casey refer to Mr. Cott by name.  She quickly recovers by stating she didn’t say Mr. Cott, but “Miss Turcotte, the children’s nanny.”  Now, Eddie, must spend the rest of the play as “Nanny Turcotte.”  Mr. Brooks arrives unexpectedly, as his car has broken down in the snow.  Unfortunately, it turns out he is Casey’s future father-in-law. So now, Casey switches roles with Sue, but only when Mr. Brooks is around. Unknown to Casey, Mr. Brooks takes an almost insane liking to “Nanny”, much to the disdain of the straight laced Gladys, who insists, “Mr. Brooks, no sex please, it’s Christmas.” Mr. Brooks however, will not be put off, and Nanny now has to defend ‘her’ honor all the while trying to fix the gadgets that keep misbehaving. 

Will hen-pecked Fred and overbearing Gladys sign the contract, or will the Christmas Eve shenanigans ruin Broadbent’s dream of off-loading this huge “White Elephant?” This “Naughty but Nice” Christmas play will have you ho-ho-ho’ing till the very end!
REVIEWS:

In this play, technology that doesn't work is just plain fun. Two hours of enjoyment and laughter.

The Seminole Beacon
Premiere Production: First produced at The Early Bird Dinner Theatre, Clearwater, Florida, in November 2007.

Characters

  • Casting: 4M, 3F
  • Casting Attributes: Reduced casting (Doubling Possible), Ensemble cast, Parts for Senior Actors, Expandable casting, Drag performance, Color blind casting
  • Casting Notes: Male roles can be expanded to 5 parts.

  • BEN ADAMS - age 21-30; a real estate salesman employed by Mr. Broadbent; young, naive, likable, always confused and in trouble, but honest and sincere

  • MR. BROADBENT - age 50-70; very much a self-made man; blunt, rough around the edges

  • CASEY CODY - age 20-30; Mr. Broadbent's secretary; competent, resourceful, and quick thinking, with a wonderful sense of humor

  • SUE JOHNSON - age 20-25; a recent graduate of the local culinary institute; a walking, breathing, living disaster area; loveable, laughable, and endearing

  • MR. COTT - age 40+; the central character in the play, and he, of course is Nanny; down to earth, gruff, but very, very funny

  • GLADYS MCNICOLL (age 40+) - the prospective buyer of the house of the future; totally dominates her husband, and indeed all those around her; loud, aggressive, and overbearing

  • FRED MCNICOLL - age 40+; the hen-pecked husband of Gladys until he turns the table on Gladys at the very end of the play; Meek, mild, and good-natured

  • WALTER BROOKS - age 40+; a surprise visitor; develops an almost insane infatuation for Nanny, and will not be discouraged; single minded and not very likable

    • Available Material

    Name Price
    No Sex Please: It's Christmas! Script This is optional. Order Now

    It's Christmas Eve, and Mr. Broadbent, a developer and builder,  has invited prospective buyers, Fred and Gladys McNicoll, to spend the holidays in “THE HOUSE OF THE FUTURE”, in the hopes that the “spirit of the season” will close the deal.  He has pulled out all the stops. The house is totally decorated for the holidays, he’s hired a personal chef, Sue Johnson, to prepare a gourmet dinner, and he has even bribed two members of his staff, Casey Cody and Ben Adams, to pose as a married couple, who are renting the house, so they can extol its virtues and explain how everything works.

    HOWEVER…that’s the problem, nothing does. The self-cleaning bathroom, central trash disposal units, automatic closets, hidden telephones and his masterpiece, “The Personal Ion Chamber,” all have some serious glitches.  But Broadbent has all the bases covered. He’s even hired his maintenance man, Eddie Cott, to be on hand behind the scenes, to make running repairs as necessary.

    It should be a “Miracle on 34th Street” fairy tale, but this is a Parker farce. Gladys hears Casey refer to Mr. Cott by name.  She quickly recovers by stating she didn’t say Mr. Cott, but “Miss Turcotte, the children’s nanny.”  Now, Eddie, must spend the rest of the play as “Nanny Turcotte.”  Mr. Brooks arrives unexpectedly, as his car has broken down in the snow.  Unfortunately, it turns out he is Casey’s future father-in-law. So now, Casey switches roles with Sue, but only when Mr. Brooks is around. Unknown to Casey, Mr. Brooks takes an almost insane liking to “Nanny”, much to the disdain of the straight laced Gladys, who insists, “Mr. Brooks, no sex please, it’s Christmas.” Mr. Brooks however, will not be put off, and Nanny now has to defend ‘her’ honor all the while trying to fix the gadgets that keep misbehaving. 

    Will hen-pecked Fred and overbearing Gladys sign the contract, or will the Christmas Eve shenanigans ruin Broadbent’s dream of off-loading this huge “White Elephant?” This “Naughty but Nice” Christmas play will have you ho-ho-ho’ing till the very end!

    		$24.95

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