Ahoy there, me hearties! This is the swashbuckling tale of skullduggery upon the high seas, treasure on a desert island, a Guatemalan crimson parakeet going by the name of Cap'n Haddock, Dame Ladd's fisherman pies, and death by chocolate!
SQUIRE POLPERRO - An archetypal product of the public school system.
THE HONOURABLE NANCY POLPERRO - Squire Polperro's adorable daughter, and principal girl.
DR. LIVERSAUSAGE - A seafaring quack.
CAPTAIN SMELLIT - A taciturn sea captain.
The Scum of The Seven Seas
BILLY FISHBONES - An inebriated old ex-pirate.
LONG JOHN SLITHER - A charming (but wholly untrustworthy) amputee.
PINK DOG - A thoroughly villainous female pirate.
BLAND PEWK - A visually challenged pirate.
ISRAEL FEET - A pirate.
GEORGE MERRY - A pirate.
SEAMUS 'GROUNDBAIT'O'FLAHERTY - An Irish buccaneer.
JIM LADD - A brisk young spark and principal boy.
MRS. LADD - Jim's mum, and pantomime dame.
BODMIN - The Squire's faithful (but completely useless) lackey.
NEWQUAY - ...Likewise.
BERTHA GUNN - A potty old ex-pirate and tea lady.
CAPTAIN HADDOCK - A Guatemalan crimson parakeet.
DON IGUANA DEL ANACONDA CON QUESO - His most Catholic Excellency, the Spanish Ambassador to Guadeloupe.
DONNA ESTELLA DEL TORREMOLINOS Y CHIMICHANGA - A sumptuous Hispanic beauty.
Assorted pirates, belike.
Treasure Island: The Panto Script
Avast behind, shipmates! And stand by to go about for a hugely successful pantomime version of everybody's favorite swashbuckling classic. Treasure Island: The Panto brings you all the very best of traditional pantomime, including custard pies, exploding cannon, gaudy costumes, and absolutely no opportunity missed to press-gang the audience right into the thick of the seafaring action!